When someone has cancer in the last stages does it make them mean and do they start to make up things?
My father -in- law has prostate /bone cancer and is in the last stages. He has become so mean that no one can handle being around him. He has always been very hard to get along with but now it is impossible because he makes things up all the time about members of the family and tells everyone what to do. I mean this is really extreme he even threatened to kill one of them because she drove on the road he had said not to drive on. He was not joking when he said it. Now he keeps making up stories about people he doesn’t even know. Oh and he is still going to work so he isn’t lying in a bed being made to feel like he is useless.
Is this related to the cancer? Is the time near? What do we do to make him more comfortable and make it easier on him so he will stop saying hurtful things? He has never been nice but it is now getting out of hand. What should we do?
He is in the last stages. The doctors said. He is no longer responding to chemo, radiation or any drugs. He has to take pain meds now till the end.
Just let you all know he is not on morphine.
I show him more than a bit of compassion. That is why I have asked these questions. I wanted to know how to make him more comfortable and I wanted to know how to handle this. For the person who says "show a bit of compassion" I’m sorry that you can’t see that this is what I’m trying to do here. Also maybe next time you should "show a bit of compassion" to those who are dealing with this first hand.
It is not uncommon for cancer patients to become dillusional. Towards the end, they may sometimes have a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality. My dad had brain cancer, and I know how hard it can be. My grandmother also had bone/breast cancer. She was in a lot of pain and was also very hard to deal with. At the very last stages, she often told stories of things that didn’t happen and saw things that weren’t there; especially with the meds.
All you can do is try to make him comfortable, try not to let his attitude get to you, and make his last days enjoyable. I know its hard to do, but you’ll feel better that you did.
Posted in 
Tags:
he’s not in the last stages yet, he’s very angry.
References :
you should let him have sex with you it is just great let him do u anally don’t let him do u orally
References :
This can be true if the cancer has travelled to the brain. I have experienced this first hand, as my friend’s mother recently passed away. She had breast cancer that spread to the spinal cord, and eventually the brain. She became very different, and could barely remember her own family members.
References :
Ignore the unpleasant, …very sad, he is upset and is feeling a loss of control….just be patient
References :
Surely he’s on pain medication which may cause illusions. Don’t take what he says personal and avoid him as much as possible.
Also, learn to meditate. It will help you not make a big deal about what others say, and improve you life generally.
Unity Church is a good place to learn about meditation.
References :
more than likely its the morphine they are giving him, morphine is a highly addictive pain killer but its also one that you build up a resistant quickly to it so it takes more and more to control the pain. there will come a day when even that won’t help him. part of it too is the pain, it has to be overwhelming and just think about when you have the flu aren’t you sometimes grumpy and abrupt with others? now multiple that a thousand fold…your father in law is fighting a losing battle and one that is not only painful physically but mentally as well. more than likely he’s not only hurting but is scared as well. most of what he’s saying he probably doesn’t even know he is. morphine in itself causes hallucinations and confusion. the fact he is still working is incredible. give him a lot of comfort despite what he says and does but be firm with him that he can’t hit or threaten. to me it sounds like he is very scared and trying to run ppl off by being mean because it hurts him to leave them. give him a break, he’s losing everything that matters to him including his life.
References :
It is not uncommon for cancer patients to become dillusional. Towards the end, they may sometimes have a hard time distinguishing fantasy from reality. My dad had brain cancer, and I know how hard it can be. My grandmother also had bone/breast cancer. She was in a lot of pain and was also very hard to deal with. At the very last stages, she often told stories of things that didn’t happen and saw things that weren’t there; especially with the meds.
All you can do is try to make him comfortable, try not to let his attitude get to you, and make his last days enjoyable. I know its hard to do, but you’ll feel better that you did.
References :
its probably the meds and hes a little scared of what going to happen next or when hes gone. my mom did the same thing took a while fpr me to relize that it wasnt her it was all the pressure and meds she was under
References :
i think maybe your father in law feels bitter about his illness, wouldnt you?
what do you think his 1st thought is when he opens his eyes in the morning or shuts them at night?
i know the prospect of certain death would make me a little cranky!
and as for still going to work or lying in a bed moping well thats irrelevant as is the fact that he was not a nice person before his illness.
the point is hes a sick man who is very frightened and needs your love and support, take what he says with a pinch of salt and humor him.
please show a bit of compassion, you know you will wake up tomorrow!
References :